Her Last Words To Me
Hi Tita,
It’s December again,
And somehow the cold makes your absence louder.
I miss you every day
Not softly,
But in that deep, heavy ache
That settles in the chest
And refuses to move.
It’s been so long since you left,
Yet your last words still hold me together:
“Stay kind, Kai… don’t let situations or people change your heart.”
I hear you whenever life feels unfair,
Whenever the world tries to turn me bitter.
Your voice pulls me back to myself.
Your love still teaches me how to stay soft
In a world that keeps giving reasons not to be.
Tita…
I became a poet.
My words speak to people now.
I stand on stages and spill my heart
The way you used to tell me I should
Fearless, honest, unafraid of my own truth.
I even became an author.
Can you imagine that?
The quiet girl you used to hug
Now writes words that strangers carry in their hands.
I wish you were here to see it.
I know you’d brag about me to everyone.
I have a family now too.
You would love my daughter.
She has this glow in her eyes
Warm, curious, gentle
Just like the kind of love you gave me.
I can almost hear you say,
“Anak ang ganda niya… you’re such a good mom.”
I hold those imagined words close
Because I know they’d be real
If you were here.
I miss your smile that felt like home,
Your laugh that could soften even the heaviest day,
Our late night chismis that always ended
With us laughing until our stomachs hurt.
You were my safe place
Before I ever learned how to build one myself.
So much has changed.
I’ve grown.
I’ve healed.
I’ve broken and rebuilt myself
More times than I can count.
And every time I rise,
I hope you see me.
I hope you’re proud of the woman I’m becoming
The mother, the poet, the survivor
The one who tries every day
To keep her heart kind
Because you told her to.
I wish I could tell you all this in person.
I wish I could hug you one more time.
But for now, I’ll write you this letter
And let every word carry the love
I never stopped having for you.
I miss you, Tita.
More than these lines can hold,
More than time can ever erase.
Kai